I did a fair amount of gushing, yesterday.  But seriously, everyone’s generosity, love, support—I can’t get enough of it!  I love all of you fancy pants people!!

Again, I’ll leave the pictures to speak for themselves.  If anyone is interested in getting hi-res versions of any of these, let me know.  You can check the whole lot out on my flickr page.  If you were at the wedding, you can bet there’s a great photo of you in there somewhere.  I loved them all—these are just some highlights, basically chosen at random.

Love.

***Song of the Moment: Love Dog, by TV on the Radio***

The official pictures are here. I have never been a woman who thought or said hyperbolically, “my wedding will be the BEST day of my LIFE!!!!!!”  That’s why it feels funny to admit that the entire weekend had me smitten indescribably-in-awe … and it actually was one of the most memorable times in my life (and hear me out…it’s got A LOT to compete with).   It wasn’t just the strength of our love that had me, it was the ineffable feeling of support and love and joy seeping from every corner of every room and every tree and every single person who graced us with their presence.  It wasn’t just a union between me and W.  It was a celebration of all that is good in the world—shared by all of my favorite people in the world.  That is what love is to me.  And this wedding was pure love.

I will not dirty this image feast by saying too much; I think the pictures speak for themselves.

(we’ll start with the rehearsal dinner and pre-wedding.  there are sooooo many awesome photos, I will do my best to share some of my favorites here.  lookout tomorrow, for more of the wedding)

Ummmmmmmmmm

my "bridesmaids" ...rehearsal dinner emcees

family

the running sequence

surprise love song to betsy

you guys made me laugh SO hard that night.

best lift I've ever seen

who knew?

yes, there was magic, lots of it

stcjeeeeellllan

o.m.g. favorite rap team of all time, right here.

pre-wedding hair and fellowship

beautiful sister of honor

pre-wedding jitters

mama hepburn...absolutely stunning

we beat off the nerves with comedy, people

sneak peek into the coolest hairstyle I've ever had

THANK YOU…everyone—family and friends.  You made this what it is.  We love you.

(lookout for the wedding pictures, PART 2, tomorrow)

Also, if anyone is itching to see ALL of the photos, go to my flickr page.

***Song of the Moment: Love on a Budget, by Benji Hughes***

(the following pictures = the wife in her many states.)

“It is also good to love: because love is difficult. For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation.”  -Rainer Maria Rilke

(love her)

(New York ready)

The other day, W took time out of his crazy work schedule to tell me (via email), that something I had said the night before had impressed him.  He did the kind of thing that one usually does when courting another…not after knowing them for 10 years.  It reminded me that we both do that sort of thing more often than I think; and that I admire that about our relationship.

When I read his words, it gave me butterflies (the free, colorful kind, not the dark, trapped kind) in my stomach.  I pointed out that we must be doing something right if we can still make the other feel:  chills from a new hand accidentally brushing our own, tingling lips the way a first kiss awakens us, (in a instant) loneliness transforming entirely into familial warmth—after all these years we’re still learning about each other as if we’re anxiously awaiting only our 3rd conversation—so much that lives inside the beautiful shell of a person, undiscovered, who sits in front of you, only waiting to be discovered by you…and you by them.

(morning and glasses.)

(meet: great grandma betsy)

newness.  When we decided to get married, this is one thing that I knew I couldn’t live without and I knew we had found in each other.  passion.  for life, in each other, and in all things we do (together or apart)…recognizing this in the other person and constantly supporting it, ferociously. wholeness. We would not be together, would not have truly uninhibitedly seen the other if we were not first whole within our own selves.  I find solace in this idea.  I find strength in my own independence, through my husband—crazy, I know.  ambition. to push yourself and your partner farther than you ever thought you could go.  music and art. inspire each other.  do these things together.  a lot.  support. faith and loyalty in all things we do.  love. strong, deep, the never-stopping-always-searching-for-more kind of love.  truth and honesty. who are you without these two things?  You owe them to the other and you owe them to yourself…for all time.  we must always seek out the deepest of truths and then we are honoring our purest and most beautiful selves.

(business and crispness)

(wife.  wiiiiiiiife?  wife. WIFE.  wife!!  wife.)

I really like the German poet, Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet and highly recommend reading it if you have even a glimpse of a human heart.  It’s a quick read and it moves me every time.

I am a wife.

I like being one.

it is an honor.

***Song of the Moment: Stillness is the Move, by the Dirty Projectors***

I mean that title in the most positive sense.  Though, I do also mean it in the other way.  I like falling.  And I like fall, the season.  I remember in our physical theatre masters program, the very first day of school, we spent 3 hours falling—literally—and picking ourselves back up again…or catching ourselves before we actually splat on the floor.  At the time, I remember thinking, what have I gotten myself into?? I decided that day to fully immerse myself into the work and stop questioning it.  I think today, the exercise speaks to me more than in the midst of it.

In the moment, I was trying so hard to do it “right”.  This is a constant virgo struggle with me…I want to be right, good, PERFECT.  The whole exercise (for me) became a massive metaphor for life…letting go, physically and mentally and emotionally letting go and allowing myself to fall so that I might find a way—a genuine, real, betsy way—to catch myself, pick myself up again, and find strength and buoyancy in who I am and what I do:  to see the wide open road of potential ahead of me and accept it as just that…and then, just. start. walking.  The ultimate task (through our entire MFA program) was “to be”—as honestly as is humanly possible.

(everyone wearing betsy & iya jewelry at the wedding!!!!  so so sweet.)

I think we find that truth when we honestly forget we’re searching for it…and then we become it.  So today, I’m falling into fall and I’m soooooo loving it.

It’s cold outside.

It’s crisp.

I’m turning colors, like the leaves.

I feel clear and ready.

I am so blessed.

I love falling.

I always discover something new about life and me.

(our ring bearer not wanting to give me a hug.)

(my stunningly gorgeous sister and best friend with my groom and other best friend.)

(my beautiful mother—like no other.)

(the wedding painting in its beginning stages)

(we asked everyone to wear flowers to the wedding.  stellan chose well.)

(yeah.  it feels good.)

(we encourage play.  for all times.)

(i love this picture.  my mama and two of my closest friends)

I also love fall because the food changes.  Will and I got so many wonderful recipes and recipe books from our dear family and friends at the wedding.  For the first time in my life I can say, I’m honestly excited about cooking.  A great friend and inspiration, Susan, gave me a wonderful cookbook called, Simply Organic, at my bridal shower.  She gets my cooking anxiety, but I guess she knew I could overcome it.

(my new husband.  our hands.  it took many days to get over the new ring.  I still love staring at it.)

I was terrified to cook from the book, but the other night when W was staying late at the office (what a wifey thing to say!?), I decided to whip up something full of fall.  I made—get THIS—celery root, apple soup AND roasted parsnips and leeks—-

WHAT THE!?!!!

(I can’t believe how proud I am of this ridiculous picture.  Our friend, Boyd slayed the food.  It was the most amazing smorgasbord I have ever tasted…people are still talking about it.  Thank you, Boyd…we love you.)

I was afraid to taste it, but the moment I put it in my mouth, I fell over with joy.  It. was. de. licious.  And I didn’t have that thing where I don’t want to eat the food because I was the one who cooked it—it happens to me sometimes.  I did, however, have a full sense of kitchen pride and a belly full of warm tasty goodness.

I hope you all enjoy your Wednesdays.

…and I hope you truly embrace your own Falls.

***Song of the Moment:  Become, by Kotogoto***

(my wedding dress and wedding shoes.  it was muddy that day, what can I say?)

I feel as though I have emerged from the depths of something.  I am new, whole, re-energized, reinvigorated, re-inspired, re–everything.  Our wedding was magical; I had no idea it could be as beautiful as it was…everyone brought their most buoyant spirits and it was a day of rejoicing in love and friendship.    The honeymoon was perfect.  And somewhere in there, I grew another year older.

I am full of love; I have SO much to share with you, and will do so—in time.

For now, I’ll give you this:

As I said…so full of love.

***Song of the Moment: No Place to Fall, by Townes Van Zandt***

****All awesome photography by good friend, Lava Alapai…check out her website Venus Rising Photography.  She’s great****