Two days ago, at the gym, I found myself getting super annoyed by all of the TV screens and the constant motion.  It was driving me MAD!  After about 15 minutes of huffing about it, a wave of peace came over me and I had this grand idea—

betsy, why don’t you find something in this chaos that inspires you.

More than that, why don’t you do this all the time.  In every situation when you’re

feeling the creature annoy creeping in, why don’t you battle it out with something

beautiful.  Find it, you know?  So I tuned into one channel, watched the commercial eagerly,

and found a flower in a vase on the side of the screen.  It was beautiful.  It was a kind of flower I

had never seen before.  It appeared only for a split second, but I let that flower carry

me into the next moment, and then the next and then the next.  Then I realized

that my entire day had been colored by that flower.  and it all felt so good.

Later that night, I received a disturbing call.  A good friend from graduate school, a classmate, a fellow, one of only ten of us, a warrior, an acrobat, a comedian, a brother, a lover, a son—had died in NYC the day before.

It was our singing that first brought us all together.

“…Soon I will be done with the troubles, with the troubles of the world.  Going home to live with God…”  This was the song that another classmate would teach us on the first day of our MFA class coming together.    It was this song that carried us through until the end.  …and until now.  I can’t even tell you how many times we sang this song at the Crib.

The Crib: small, nasty, cozy, uncomfortable, beautiful, huge, wild, endless.  We transformed that thing into mountains and valleys, fields of wispy grass, purple oceans, worlds you’ve never even dreamed of.  We were the inaugural MFA class of Dell’ Arte International.  So while paving our own way, we sort of helped paved the way for future classes (and boy, did we like to think of ourselves in this way).  We spent most of our days away from the main campus and in our own new location, called “The Crib.”  While the Crib was not an ideal spot for the intense theatre work we were doing, we quickly grew fond of it—after all, it was our space.

I’m not quite sure how it came to be, but we started a ritual (maybe not the healthiest ritual, but one that brought us closer together every single time).  After a really intense lesson or rehearsal or play in which the 10 of us occupied the space, we would take a swig of a bottle of brandy that lived in the space and shout out (in funny accents every time), “TO THE CRIB!!!”  Sometimes we would cry, sometimes we would laugh, but we always did it together and we always embraced each other afterwards and before leaving the space.  It was a coming together unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.  We were partners, playmates, colleagues, brothers and sisters.  We were a team.

Since his passing, I can’t stop thinking about that time in our lives.  I can’t stop thinking about him.  I’m remembering things I’ve never thought of before, things that I didn’t realize existed.  I can’t help but think about how much that time formed who I am today.  And he was such a huge part of that.

I am writing this post because I think he would want me to.  I hope he would.  I hope he can see it.  I hope he can feel the outpouring of love from all of his friends and family.

I think it was no coincidence that I thought of seeking out the inspiring things in life amid chaos at the gym that day.  Even if it wasn’t, I will forever believe that he gave me that bit of light that day.  And I’ll take that with me wherever I go.

Here’s to finding peace and hope and inspiration in bits of everything you do in your life.  Here’s to not letting days go by without appreciating things that have moved you.  And for goodness sake, Here’s to the Crib!

But mostly…Here’s to the love, laughter, joy, infectious soaring spirit and life of Adrian C. Mejia.  We salute you.  We love you.  We miss you.

Although one has fallen, it will forever and always be the TEN of us.

To. The. Crib.

Love into the weekend and beyond,

Betsy

Viva La Famiglia!

My thoughts and prayers are with his family, girlfriend, and all of those feeling the blow of this huge loss.

***Song of the Moment:  Early Bird, by The Frames***

]]> http://www.betsyandiya.com/blog/to-the-crib/feed/ 7 http://www.betsyandiya.com/blog/today/ http://www.betsyandiya.com/blog/today/#comments Wed, 21 Apr 2010 07:00:13 +0000 betsy http://www.betsyandiya.com/blog/?p=1841 looks a little bit like this.

***Song of the Moment: Mayfair, by Nick Drake***

]]> http://www.betsyandiya.com/blog/today/feed/ 2 http://www.betsyandiya.com/blog/the-way-i-am-things-that-never-stop/ http://www.betsyandiya.com/blog/the-way-i-am-things-that-never-stop/#comments Tue, 09 Mar 2010 08:54:03 +0000 betsy http://www.betsyandiya.com/blog/?p=1686

I keep waiting for things to slow down… for when I’ll sit down and write a meaningful post, share those pictures with you, reply to those emails, get in touch with that friend I haven’t talked to in so long, workout more regularly, go to Cathedral Park more often, etc etc, blah blah.  I keep waiting for all of these incomparably important busy things to slow to an end and then I’ll take care of all these other things that I really do also care about.

…wait.  …that are also indelibly important things…things that I’m always going to want to get to.

right.  riiiight.  I remember.  I know this place.  I keep coming back here.

I keep coming back here for a reason, I suppose… a great one, that I should be so grateful for—I’m BUSY!!!!  And really, if I think about it—I can only hope it stays this way.  I’m learning that it’s becoming more and more about finding balance.  A balance within me, that extends out to my hands, and beyond my hands, just as it exists in the world.

One of the first ways I’m trying to implement this into my life is by being with W when I’m with W.  I mean, like really being with him.  Road tripping, experiencing Vancouver BC (witnessing Olympic moments firsthand, before the TV footage and even the cameras that shot them), reconnecting, being our most authentically goofy selves, laughing out load (a lot), the tastes, the smells, the friendship     …even if everything stopped:

these are the things that would stay with me forever.

We had a wonderful time in Vancouver.  And even though I was able to focus on all the things that make my heart feel woo wooey,  the things that actually inspire the work… it came too.  I got four new accounts in BC before we headed home.  That’s right, Canada.  In the next few weeks, look out for betsy & iya in these sweet stores:  Riot, Dandelion Emporium, Smoking Lily, and Blushing Boutique.

I am so very lucky and grateful.  Thank you, Canada.

Soooo… stop thinking about it… just do it, you know?  that thing?  those things…  just go and do them.  and do them with every little bitty inch of you.

***Song of the Moment: Tonight by Lykke Li***

Found these items on Etsy to help express how I’m feeling:

These Vintage Boxers from Xander Graphics

The Fighter, by Tony A Engel

Cat Fight Buckle by Alaska Gadgetry

Toilet Fighting = funny

Bears Fighting, by Dan Bob Thompson

With that, I better get on with this battle, so I might actually get some work done today.  yikes!

***Song of the Moment: Fighting on the Stairs, by The Frames***

me and the reflection

New Photo Project:  TBA

Things I Like

Random Pop

You Got Style (fashion inspirations)

People Everyday (other people’s outfits…I’ve stacked up quite a few)
Outfits of the Days

Confessions

In the Workshop (current b & i design stuff)

Performing Arts (…the why behind the “Song of the Moment”)
Portland and Me
I bet you didn’t know…
Today and Me
Reflections (another photo project)

betsy & iya: the shop

I’ve loved sporadically sharing things with you here.  I’m just ready to stand more firmly.  Don’t worry, it will still have that same impulsive spontaneous feeling, just with a bit more of a base.  My feet are planted now.

Look out for it.

***Song of the Moment: Walking, by The Dodos***

REVIEWED;

Portland Monthy Magazine (blog):  Preview: Truth & Beauty

Willamette Week:  Fertile Ground Day 1, Truth & Beauty

Oregonian: Fertile Ground: ‘Truth and Beauty’ is a literally moving production about a unique friendship

a friendship like no other

It’s playing in front of these audiences that has really brought our characters to life.  A few days before we opened, Jessica (co-star, plays Lucy Grealy) handed me a book for inspiration: C.S.Lewis’s A Grief Observed, written after the death of his wife.  His words helped me tremendously:

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.  I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid.  The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning.  I keep on swallowing. … And no one ever told me about the laziness of grief.  I loathe the slightest effort.  Not only writing but even reading a letter is too much.  Even shaving.  What does it matter now whether my cheek is rough or smooth?  They say an unhappy man wants distractions–something to take him out of himself.  Only as a dog-tired man wants an extra blanket on a cold night; he’d rather lie there shivering than get up and find one.  … The act of living is different all through.  Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.

There is a sequence in the beginning where Ann Patchett (the character I’m playing) lyrically expresses her grief.  With an appropriate David Byrne song playing and only one chair, Ann’s chair, in just a few moments, she goes down to the bottom and claws her way back to the top—fighting through the mire and muck of sadness to come out on the other side.  Ann wrote the book this way…3 weeks after Lucy’s death.

In the performance, there have been nights when I thought I got there.  There have been nights when I knew I was no where close.  I have 3 more nights to go even farther and I intend to.

Won’t you join us?

***Song of the Moment: Memories Can’t Wait, by Talking Heads***

(betsy, jessica, and w)

I moved to Portland in 2006 after finishing an intense journey of self-discovery and growth.  Graduate school at Dell’ Arte was one of the most equally difficult and moving experiences I’ve ever encountered in my life.  I came to Portland, inspired, cynical, and with a very specific view on theatre in America and the kind of theatre I was interested in doing.  The reality: it’s super hard to find.

I found comfort in a close Portland friend who had been through the 1st year of the MFA with us.  I had just turned 23 when I first met the amazing Jessica Wallenfels, it was 2003.  She knew where I was coming from; she was interested in similar things—physical, visceral, immediate, funny, honest theatre.  I didn’t know how or where it would take us, but I knew we had to work together.  In 2007, I wrote a simple email, something like—let’s get on our feet together.  She agreed.  And we did just that.  At the time, I was reading a book called Truth & Beauty, by Ann Patchett.  I lent it to her.  We were both moved by it.  We started on our feet, messing with the ideas, connections, and boundaries of friendship.  We played with other texts and thoughts, throwing them all together:  letters she had received from an old friend, Rainer Maria Rilke, we exchanged stories of deep friendships we’d had in our own lives, Pablo Neruda,  pictures by Annie Leibowitz, etc.  The possibilities were endless and we bounced around to as many as we could.

(jessica, elizabeth, betsy…who wouldn’t want to see a show by these crazy gals?)

“I do not remember our love unfolding, that we got to

know one another and in time became friends.  I only

remember that she came through the door and it was

there, huge and permanent and first.  I felt I had

been chosen by Lucy and I was thrilled.  I was

twenty-one years old and very strong.  She had a

habit of pitching herself into my arms like a softball

without any notice.  She liked to be carried.”  —Ann

Patchett

Our friendship thickened through the process.  We danced together, experiemented with different choreography on each other, laughed a lot, and before each rehearsal play time, we  shared stories of our current trials and tribulations, listening to each other the way one does with only a close family member or friend.  Those moments colored our work together.  I was fasicnated by the parallel between our own lives and friendships and the ones in the stories that made up the book.  We kept our minds open and kept experimenting with other texts, meshing them together, but we always came back to the original impetus—Truth & Beauty.

Fast forward through Scandinavia, breakups, Hawaii, starting a jewelry business (what??) Spain, job changes, a mutual best friend finally moving to Portland from Philly (who would ultimately, brilliantly, be the glue for this project), the deepest of loves, overcoming things we had no idea we carried the strength for, letting go, and marriage.  We have come a long way…and so has this piece.  We would love for you all to join us in this final journey and see how far we’ve come.

This play is based on a true story that in one way or another we can all

relate to.  It is based on fear, pain, love, hope, growing up, failing,

flailing, succeeding, heartbreak, heartache, joy, despair, and moving

beyond it all.

Don’t miss it.

From the Press Release:

Last night when W put his arms around me for our nightly snuggle ritual, I told him how big my heart felt for our wondrous holiday season spent with family and friends …and for him.  All in a sweet sleepy eyed bedroom state, I said something like, “I have a big heart right now.”

W responded:  ”I have a Scrabble heart.”

B:  What do you mean?

W:  It could be “heart.:  It could be “earth.”  If there were an extra e on the board, it could be “heater.”

I laughed until I cried and then fell asleep happy in the knowledge our Scrabble hearts lay on the same board.

2010, here we come.

How did y’all ring in the new year?

***Song of the Moment: I Don’t Know Why, by Stevie Wonder***

You reminded us to take time for each other and appreciate the small things…literally.

We’re sad to see you go, Stanley.  We had such great adventures with you and we’ll share more here, but—we don’t want to spoil them all just yet before you get back to your best friend, little K.  Please know though, you are welcome in our home, any time.

***Song of the Moment: Team, by Bon Iver***

That said, reflecting on the week’s most potent sense memories seems a perfect way to bring me back to my loyal readers.  You all are super.  I’ve missed you.

While getting ready, I heard my husband playing the piano.  I love when he gets the urge and goes and plays and plays until he’s done.  It always sends chills down my body.  And I don’t think he even knows this.

Touching new (old) material and following it where it wants to go, in my Old Turns New line.  I’ve been making the door number necklaces for some time now, but never gave myself the opportunity to create an entire line centered around recycled material.  It was so freeing to have an excuse to focus on only one line for a week.

At Junk to Funk, I was only permitted to sell things made out of recycled material.  This entire new line melts my heart.  I can’t wait to add all the new items to my online shop.  (Speaking of which, I’m going to go ahead and plant the little bug in your ears…we are mere weeks away from opening our own online shop, right here on this website.  I’ll be sending out details (and discounts!!) through my email newsletter…shoot me an email if you’d like to stay informed!)

Seeing a good friend and studio neighbor, Jen Lamastra, put her heart and soul and hardworking hands into something and having EVERYONE witness it and hold her up into the light she deserves.  Jen took home first prize at the Junk to Funk fashion show this year.  The fashion show utilizes and makes glamorous something that Portland is famous for, “being GREEN.”  As much as the phrase has become overly buzzy and trendy, I’m happy to say that it is something that Portland and its people actually put into practice.  The coolest fashion show in the world showcases real people creating REALLY COOL OUTFITS out of things other people consider trash.  The above outfit was created by Jen out of MINI-BLINDS…WHAT!?! and the wig was created out of an old trashcan and unwanted bike tire tubes.  Along with everyone else in the crowd, I was blown away.

I smelled an amazing chocolate chip scone from Sydney’s coffee shop that one of my sweet assistant’s brought in to me.  And I proceeded to taste its magical happy powers that got me through the design working day unscathed.

For the first time in one whole month, I’ve got a day off this weekend.  W and I are going to take Flat Stanley on some adventures and spend some quality time together—who knew a marraige needed that!??  I hope he’ll play the piano for me this weekend.  I’ll soon share my adventures with you here.

In the meantime, please make your own.

Happy Weekends!!  xoxoxo ~betsy

***Song of the Moment: Mellow Mood, by Bob Marley and the Wailers***

(LOTS OF NEW JEWELRY IN THE ONLINE SHOP, check it out HERE!!)